On the fourth weekend of July, suddenly, my right knee exploded like a balloon, and it felt like fireworks. My regular doctor was not there, so I drove to a walk-in clinic nearby.

"Do you have an appointment?" It was a walk-in greeting.

"Make an appointment? The sign says Walk-In."   

"You need an appointment to get in," the woman at the desk said.

"Is this a comedy routine?" 

"This is just a routine procedure. Would you like to make an appointment?" 

certainly. The next day, I saw a doctor's assistant at Stony Brook Hospital, who works in the aforementioned walk-in clinic. He said that my right knee was too hot and I must have contracted bursitis. There is no history, no blood, no desire for the website, no uncertainty of opinion. I walked into the room with a prescription for powerful antibiotics.

A week later, I didn’t feel better. I consulted a Google doctor and learned that old-fashioned gout also had similar symptoms. I have never suffered from gout and know nothing about gout. I found a gout doctor and underwent a gout test. Then I took gout medicine and avoided strenuous exercise for a few weeks. The result was swelling as they said. Significantly reduced and painful.

After getting better, I resumed my activities. It’s okay to walk the dog. Tennis is good. Life is very good. Until Labor Day. Suddenly, the discomfort and inflammation increased to such an extent that I was worried that my poor innocent knee would be really hurt, so I visited a well-known, taciturn orthopedic surgeon in Southampton, who arranged for a patient every 15 minutes.

I know his schedule interval, because the patient in front of me is Mr. Two o'clock, I am 25 years old, and the woman following me is a 20 or 30 year old lady. While I was waiting for my turn, I was fascinated by the slow-motion fish in the big fish tank, and Ms. Twenty-Thirty was led into the doctor's room. I approached the front desk suspiciously.

"We can't talk about another patient," the secretary said. "HIPAA rules."

"HIPAA rules?" I agreed. "No one is asking another patient. I am asking about your special clock, 2:30 will come before 2:15. I thought only Superman or Superwoman could do this."

"Do you want to talk to the office manager?"

Five minutes later, I was told, "The office manager is not here today. She will be back next week."

So I waited quietly until I was taken to the X-ray room, where I was like a child passing by the cemetery, holding my breath; this superstitious creature would not inhale death or radiation.    

"The doctor will show you right away."

The doctor did not find any problems on the X-rays, so he opened an MRI, which I got at Stony Brook Southampton Hospital next week; half an hour of irresistible percussion of clumsy imitation of John Cage's technical dance. When I exited the tube, I realized that I stupidly forgot to remove the smartphone from the back pocket. With this prediction, no mobile phone can survive MRI. Alas, the iPhone is great. The reception was great. The photos are clearer than ever. Please note that it is not recommended to do MRI for anyone's mobile phone, but my mobile phone seems to enjoy this noisy spinning experience.

It's also a good thing. I look forward to the taciturn orthopedic surgeon calling anytime. Although there was a walking problem at this time, I waited patiently for a week before calling his office. Later, his secretary told me that I could not call for the results, but I had to make an appointment to go in and see the doctor and listen to him about the MRI results. This is news to me. This is commonplace for her. 

When I saw the doctor, he said this (let me explain): You have some arthritis and medial meniscus squeeze. There is nothing you can do with arthritis, but you can have a total knee replacement for a meniscus tear, or you can do nothing and learn to tolerate it. He said that between these two extremes, you can perform arthroscopic surgery to remove it, or inject corticosteroids or plasma platelet therapy. your choice. 

Which one do you recommend, doctor?

Let me decide? You just proposed five options, and I don’t know what any of them mean. Or cost. In time or money.

They have their own advantages and disadvantages, and there is no guarantee that any one of them will work. up to you.

Let me decide? I don’t even know what the medial meniscus is.

Cartilage acts as a shock absorber.

I can use the shock absorber now. Why does my meniscus squeeze out?

Wear, I think. Too much tennis. play golf.   

Will the medial meniscus heal on its own?

maybe. If you are younger, you have a better chance.

my phone? Doctor, you must have seen a thousand such knees, and I have no experience with this knee or any other knees. Do you have any advice?

Your knee, your decision.  

My decision, eh? So, um, what to do, what to do?

As usual, when faced with a decision that might change my life, even a little bit, I just sit down and write it down.  

This is what you just read.

Bruce Buschel is a writer living in Bridgehampton and played tennis last Tuesday. Don't care about the score.

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